Mariah Carey Opens Up: The Emotional Journey Behind Narrating Her Memoir

Words like “diva,” “Queen of Christmas,” and “Songbird Supreme” are all words used to describe Mariah Carey. But the word “diva” may be the one she’s most proud of. When Harper’s Bazaar asks her about the female divas she admires, she says: “I’m going to have to go with me!”

But the singer hasn’t always had an easy time, which she’s long spoken about and revealed more of in her memoir, “The Meaning of Mariah Carey.” Co-written with writer and activist Michaela Angela Davis, Carey described the process as “challenging, but it was also therapeutic. We stayed up late figuring out how we were going to put the story forth.”

While she could’ve had someone else narrate the audiobook for her, Carey chose to do it herself. While she found aspects of it daunting, recalling “Little Mariah’s” memories was something that needed to be done.

Reading Her Own Words Was a Rollercoaster of Emotions

“I knew it was going to bring up bad memories I didn’t want to relive,” Mariah Carey told “Harper’s Bazaar” about doing the audiobook. “It was a tough situation to go to sleep listening to it… I’d wake up and be kind of freaked out. Because this is me and I went through that.”

After the audiobook was released, she described on “Live With Kelly and Ryan” how reading her own words aloud was a different experience from writing them.

“Reading the words again, in my voice, aloud, and then singing when I felt like singing, and doing that, that was an incredible experience of reliving the stories that I’m already telling in the book,” she said. “So, when you’re reading it aloud, and you’re like, ‘wow, it really… it was an emotional experience.”

“It’s not all Christmas,” she added. She explained that she tried not to “bring Christmas into a sad place.”

The Heartfelt Reason Behind Her Love of Christmas

Carey’s love of Christmas has become legendary, thanks to her hit song, “All I Want for Christmas is You.” While it may seem like an act she’s putting on, it stems from her lack of Christmas celebrations growing up.

“I always wanted it to be great as a kid. And it was always somehow foiled by people when I was growing up,” she revealed on “The Graham Norton Show.” “Because I didn’t grow up with the money or the things to have much. But I always loved it. And then certain siblings or people that I don’t know anymore would come over and ruin it! Ruin it every time.”

So, as an adult, I was like, ‘They will never, never do that to me again,'” she added.