Chappell Roan Gets Real on Negative Public Perception

Chappell Roan is in a new, unfamiliar place in her career. She’s trying to balance doing things her way with the risk of negative public perception.

“I think that right now in my career, I’m just trying to see if the way I’ve been doing it is sustainable,” she told Sza for Interview Magazine. “Am I okay with the backlash of speaking my mind? That’s where I am right now.”

While she has no intention of giving up on speaking out and fighting for what she believes is right, she’s not afraid to admit that sometimes, the negative words still hurt.

Chappell Roan Gets Emotional About Caring Too Much Amid Criticism: ‘It Makes Me Cry’

While talking with the “Open Arms” singer, Roan admitted that at the beginning, she didn’t care what people thought of her. That changed when “people started hating me for me and not for my art,” Roan said. “When it’s not about my art anymore, it’s like, ‘they hate me because I’m Kayleigh, not because they hate the songs that I make.’ That’s when it changed.”

Sza reminded her that the people who say mean things don’t know her. “But when things are taken out of context, people assume so much about you,” the “Pink Pony Club” singer responded. “I didn’t realize I’d care so much. When it comes to my art, I’m like, ‘[expletive], you can think whatever you want. You are allowed to hate it with all your guts.’ But when it comes to me and my personality, it’s like, “Damn. Am I the most insufferable [expletive] of our generation?”

“And it makes me cry,” she confessed. “I don’t know if it will ever feel okay to hear someone say something really hateful about me.”

Sza Says Negative Comments Made Her Wonder If She Could ‘Do This’

“I feel deeply relieved by what you just said,” Sza told her. Because the negativity affected her, she had started to wonder if she was cut out for the music industry. Roan admitting that she’s not a superhuman was reassuring.

“Maybe everybody secretly gives a [expletive],” Roan finally realized. “I tried to tell myself that I didn’t care what people were saying about me,” she said. But it was so weird that I was being misperceived so far from who I am. But it was also just like, when you’re seen in these tiny vacuums of the most intense moments of your life, it’s a pressure cooker.”

“Then it’s like, ‘Okay, this hour’s over, and you just met 35 people in the worst emotional state that you could possibly be in,’ and they’re all going to take this with them and be like, ‘Yep, that’s who the [expletive] she is, and we’re going to tell other people that this is who she is, also,'” the “HOTTOGO” singer continued. “But it has no reflection on who I really am,” she points out. “You don’t get another time to make a second impression.”

“And it’s excruciating, and it’s hurtful, and it is devastating, and I do be crying,” she added. “And I needed you to say that.”

By the end of the conversation, the two were thanking each other for their bravery and honesty. “If you’ll ever allow me to just talk to you and pick your brain about [expletive], I would love that,” Sza told her.

“Oh my god, it’s so mutual,” Roan replied.