Why Erin Napier Chooses Not to Focus on the Small Annoyances in Her Marriage

HGTV stars Ben and Erin Napier have found that one of the key ways to navigate a happy relationship is to pick your battles. Rather than getting annoyed by something small, Erin said she focuses on the more important parts of their marriage.

Erin Napier Lets Some of the Smaller Annoyances Go

In a March 2025 interview with Us Weekly, Ben and Erin talked about some of the ways they keep their happy marriage humming along.

In addition to sweet gestures and taking care of each other in meaningful ways, they also don’t focus on the small things that might annoy them.

“[Early on], if Ben ever did anything that was irking me — like leaving cabinet doors open — I would say something,” Erin said. “But at this stage of our mature marriage, instead of feeling angry when I see something like him leaving his coffee cups everywhere, I immediately think of all the wonderful things he’s done for me and our girls today.”

She added, “And I take his mug and put it in the sink, and I don’t complain.”

Erin also doesn’t enjoy him leaving “piles of boots” around the house or his fast driving, but they are so insignificant when looking at the big picture.

“I bet 90 percent of the things that we complain about in our marriages are so unimportant,” she noted.

The HGTV star added, “It’s important to remember what you loved about each other when you first met. Try to remember it every single day.”

They focus on working together as a team and doing what’s best for their family. “You make little decisions every day [in which] you can either decide this makes me happy and I’m going to go my own way,” Erin shared. Ben added, “— or this is what’s best for us.”

Erin added, “The more you can both pull in the same direction, [the more] it makes for a happier marriage.”

Erin Napier Reveals ‘Best Way to Find Happiness’ in Marriage

In a March 20 Instagram post, Erin shared the Us Weekly cover photo and dished on the secret of their happiness.

“We get a lot of questions about our marriage because we work together. How we get along, find family time, keep the romance alive and all that … ,” she noted in the caption.

Erin continued, “We did a lot of talking for this interview and we answered all those questions, but I think the best way to find happiness in your marriage is to serve one another. Never stop talking. Pray together. Show each other so much grace. Be on the same team.”

She added, “We only have 20 years of practice, and we are not experts, but it’s worked for us every time. Thank you so much, @usweekly for letting us talk about our favorite subject. ❤️”