Though celebrity status comes with many perks, Hallmark Channel star and “One Tree Hill” alum Bethany Joy Lenz says one of the hardest parts of getting recognized is interacting with “aggressive” fans.
After Lenz, 43, experienced an “extremely unsettling” exchange on February 17, 2025, the actress and single mom vulnerably took to social media to share what happened. Lenz posted a series of selfie videos in her Instagram Stories, describing the nerve-wracking interaction she’d just had in a mall parking lot with a particularly forward male fan.
“I just felt like it would be important for me to share this experience with you guys,” she said in her first video as she sat inside the mall. The “A Biltmore Christmas” star wrote over the video, “A real life story in real time, to offer some perspective.”
Bethany Joy Lenz Says Her Warning About Fan Interactions is ‘Mostly for Men’
Lenz, who last starred in 2024’s “Savoring Paris,” has been in the spotlight lately for her critically acclaimed and best-selling memoir “Dinner for Vampires,” which details the decade she unknowingly spent in a cult. She escaped “The Big House Family” in 2012 with her one-year-old daughter, Rosie, and divorced her husband Michael Galeotti, who was also very involved in the group.
On February 17, Rosie and her friend were with Lenz in a mall parking lot when the actress was approached by a fan, she shared in her first video about the incident. She noted her message was “mostly for the men.”
“A man walks up to us,” she began. “A white man all dressed in black. Not that it mattered but, I don’t know, in the moment, I guess it felt like an extra aggressive addition to his presence. And he’s wearing his sunglasses. Doesn’t take his sunglasses off, so there’s no, like, eye contact. And he just says, ‘Hey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just have to say hi.’ And he’s walking at us kind of fast, and he’s got his hand out … it’s so strange.”
“I just want to share this,” Lenz continued, “for men out there who think that … women think like you, that women exist in the world like you do. And someone approaching you in the parking lot when you’re alone with two young girls and there’s nobody else around? You think that’s just a totally fine thing, that you feel safe? Women don’t feel safe in that kind of scenario. It’s extremely unsettling. And it’s not just me. Ask other women in your life.”
Continuing her story, Lenz said, “So he sticks his hand out. I didn’t shake it. He said, ‘I just have to say hi! It’s not every day you see somebody you know.'”
When Lenz asked who the man was, she said he told her his name was Chris and that he didn’t truly know her. But “he just kept his hand out,” Lenz said, describing his energy as “insistent.”
“And now I’m in this weird standoff with a guy that I don’t even know,” she said, “and two young girls standing right next to me (who are) now vulnerable because I’m interacting with this guy and trying to figure out if he’s a threat, if he’s a fan, if he’s trying to sell me something, if there are going to be other people, if this is like a scam and there (might be) other people that are going to come up on the side and try to, you know, threaten us in some way.”
Bethany Joy Lenz Urges Male Fans to ‘Be More Aware’ of Potentially Threatening Behavior
Even if the man who approached Lenz on February 17 didn’t mean to cause her any harm, she said that his confidence and aggressiveness made it a stressful situation for her. She urged “white men” especially to “be more aware,” reiterating that such behavior is “not acceptable.”
After finding a different spot to sit in at the mall, Lenz shared another video, saying that she had calmed down and was ready to offer some guidance on the “right way” to approach a female celebrity — especially one who is alone or “clearly responsible” for kids she’s with.
Lenz said, “As a fan, I understand the thing that happens to people when they see someone that they’ve been watching for years and they’re like, ‘Well, it’s exciting! Like, I have to do something, I have to say
something.’ And that’s an okay feeling. I get that.”
“So, probably the way to do it would be from afar,” Lenz suggested. “You know, if this man had turned around and said — from you know, six or seven cars away where he started — and said, ‘Hey, actually, excuse me. I’m sorry to bother you. I just want to say I’m a big fan, love your work.’ I would’ve said, ‘Thank you very much. Appreciate it,’ and then gone on our way. I think that would have been fine. It’s the approaching, it’s the tone deafness of that (that’s bothersome).”
Lenz’s insights about her interaction with the man in the mall parking lot came three weeks after she expressed in an Instagram post, on January 28, how tired she was of men belittling women.
“Every time you roll your eyes at a woman’s emotion,” she wrote, “every time you tell her she’s overreacting, with every sarcastic bite and mockery of her perspective- you spit in the face of someone who has already spent their entire internal life curled up in a ball on the ground, occasionally daring to reach out or even unfurl and walk a bit if they’ve been lucky. Many of us are so used to this that we just shrink back down and allow it, to survive.”
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Bethany Joy Lenz Vulnerably Speaks Up After ‘Extremely Unsettling’ Incident With Fan