Simon Cowell Reveals Fatherhood Rescued Him From a Dark Place in His Life

Simon Cowell has been honest about why he named his son Eric after his dad. “He wants to recreate the father-son relationship that he got when he was a little one from his dad,” his friend and publicist, Max Clifford, told People after Eric was born.

But for the “America’s Got Talent” judge and creator, the gift of Eric’s birth goes much deeper than that, as he finally opens up about the hole he was in before his son came into the world.

Simon Cowell Shares What Parenting Has Taught Him After Losing His Parents

Cowell’s father died in 1999, and his mother died in 2015, shortly after Eric was born. “[Fatherhood has] had a huge impact on me because I loved my parents so much, and once they left, I was kind of lost for a while, and then Eric kind of saved me,” he told People. “Because that love comes back a hundred times more powerful.”

Cowell previously confessed on The Diary Of A CEO podcast that becoming a father gave him a reason to claw his way out of the darkness he found himself in.

“I think particularly when I lost my mum, I was on a downward spiral at that point,” Cowell said. “I lost everyone, you know, I’ve lost my parents. It’s finality now. What I said about the material things I’ve got, everything just meant nothing at that point.”

But the love Cowell felt for his son made him feel a joy that surprised even him. “I mean, it’s extraordinary and it never goes,” he added. “So I didn’t expect that, and when it happened, it was like, ‘Wow.’ I mean, it’s incredible.”

Simon Cowell Shares How Fatherhood Changed His Approach on ‘AGT’

Being a father didn’t just make Cowell happier in his personal life; it also led him to change his approach to his job. “[Being a judge on “AGT”] got easier since I became a dad, because as Eric got a little bit older… I suddenly started to watch acts through his eyes thinking, ‘Would he like that?'” Cowell remembered. “Because you want your kids and their friends to love the show.”

“So when he comes down with his friends, they’re having the best time,” he adds. “And that’s a great feeling.”

Before his son, the former “American Idol” judge was a self-professed workaholic. He would often work all night long. However, after Eric was born, Cowell began to enforce personal rules to ensure he was a present dad.

“I don’t believe you can work well tired. I’ve really, really come to that conclusion is that you can force yourself to if you want to, but you’re going to make bad decisions,” he said. “I think you’ve always got to be fresh. You don’t want to overload your brain… So I am quite strict now, which is, ‘That’s it. My brain’s fried. I’m not going to make any good decisions today.’ So that’s it. That’s where we end it, and then we start again tomorrow.”

Fatherhood opened his eyes to something more crucial than success. “You realize that there are other things more important actually than your career,” he acknowledged. “I know it sounds corny, but I mean, it is the truth. If I wasn’t where I am in my life today, I think it would feel quite empty.”